How to Raise Grateful Kids Without Giving Up Joy or Generosity
Picture this, you spend a pretty penny to take your family to a luxury, all-inclusive resort for a week to celebrate your 40th birthday, you even spend a little extra to get them a princess spa experience and an excursion to swim with actual dolphins!
Cancun 2025 - Mom turns 40!
Here are our sweet girls enjoying an over the top Princess Spa Experience, on an already over the top vacation.
Of course, we expect them to be grateful, and it would be great if they expressed that gratitude by being incredibly well behaved, quiet and generous children that never pick a fight with their sisters for the entire trip and nap the moment I suggest it without resistance.
Too much to ask?
Well yes! It’s obvious when phrased like this that our expectations are inflated. But at the moment, that’s truly what we are desiring.
Some truth bombs for me:
My kids didn’t ask for any of this. They didn’t even know these were things that could be asked for.
They would be just as happy with a day at the San Luis Obispo Elks pool, the beach, or honestly even home if we were paying this much attention to them there. This luxury trip is for me. Celebrating the fruits of our labors with a reward. When it comes to a vacation, they don’t need a fancy resort. Just time with us.
Expecting them to have neuroprocessing at a level their brains have not developed too is the fastest way for me to be disappointed.
“When your child’s biggest problem is that their iPad died or their favorite snack ran out, it’s nearly impossible for them to grasp what it means to go without food, shelter, or safety. Their world is their world, and if that world has always included abundance, comfort, and security, they simply don’t have the context to feel grateful for it… And here’s the tricky part: that bubble they’re living in is one we created with love. We want to protect our kids from hardship, shield them from the harsh realities of the world, and give them a childhood full of joy and ease. But when we shelter them too much, we accidentally rob them of perspective.”
It’s not just this trip that’s troubling me. We are approaching Christmas season and I always walk this fine line between wanting to give them the world so they feel loved and special while simultaneously not wanting them to be spoiled and entitled. Plus, let’s add in that I am chronically overstimulated and feel like we are buried in things (also see: junk) at home AND I want to save the planet from overfilling landfills.
How in the world is this balance to be achieved?
Cut to me scouring the internet for answers and I found a fabulous (albeit long) article with a great explanation of what may actually be happening when the kids appear ungrateful and some tips to creating more aware and grateful people by “Raising Kids with Purpose”.
Also, the timing of this is so timely because we just recorded with Brandy Jemczura, the founder of Seeds of Caring who shared beautiful insights and all about the work she’s doing to help the next generation be a more generous and empathetic one.
Episode release date 11/26/2026 anywhere you get your podcasts.
Sneak peak on our YOUTUBE channel 11/23/2025
